Heartbreaks has inarguably ruined lovers of both gender than failing an examination, it has infact kill hopes and dreams and having been through the tunnel of heartbreaks I know how it feels and the antidote to it or better say I know how to help your navigate through the darkest tunnel.
1. The Dating Diary
The Dating Diet starts with a dating journal. This first step is a must in the pursuit of relationship success. Your Dating Diary will become the foundation of your relationship remedy, because all steps of this program will be directly affected by how often you write or don't write in your diary. During your healing time you really need to understand why your relationship(s) failed, so start by writing about them. Go back to the inventory you made in the previous chapter and examine each relationship more carefully. Pour out your heart on paper or your computer screen. Write about how he hurt you, what felt wrong and what felt right. While you're writing, you're releasing pain and frustration. Taking the time to write is all about you and for you. You're slowly getting to know yourself again. You're strengthening your mind and passing your alone time quickly and with purpose. Once you've written an episode or two regarding the angst of your last relationship, sit down, get comfy and read it. Did it read like a beautiful love story? More like a dramatic heartbreaker? Or worse-a bad movie with you as the brunt of all the jokes? By writing and reading your own story you'll quickly connect with the lead character.
You won't want to see her get hurt anymore and eventually you'll playa role in writing her future. By writing and reading your own dating chronicles, you gain self-awareness, see things clearly and will make better dating choices next time around. When you have a better understanding of what went wrong, you may think you're ready to get out and welcome real love into your life. No, not so quick. Before you let healthy love in you must be certain all Pig tendencies are out.
2. The Cleanse:
Cleanse yourself of negative energy, become a better you, not a bitter you. It's so difficult to change. You've been in one bad relationship after another. During the Cleanse step of the Dating Diet you'll learn why you do this to yourself. As with any cleanse it will at first be challenging to rid yourself of the toxic forces that hold you hostage to this bondage that you wish to escape. However, it takes only 10-14 days to escape those bad impulses that keep driving you to the wrong guy. After this Cleanse, you'll never date another pig.
Cleanse practices start with a "Me Day". Sound easy so far? Don't be fooled. This Cleanse is not for the wimpy and be warned it will take your utmost strength and determination to shed the destructive shadow that continually controls your dating choices. Your "Me Day" can include anything from a movie to a massage. Stay in bed all day, bake cupcakes, or do whatever it is that you would like to do. But here's the biggest part of the challenge: You must leave your cell phone off and at home all day. It's probably been ages since you've had no communication device on you at all times, but don't stress. I'm certain you'll hit it off with yourself. During your 2-week cleanse, you must vigilantly turn off your cell phone every night by 7 p.m. For the weak-willed, I recommend leaving it in the glove compartment of your car. Yes, it's challenging and you'll most likely come up with lame excuses of why you can't do this part of the Cleanse, but trust me-you can do it. Cell phones weren't even commonly used until this past decade. During the Cleanse, they're worse than a distraction. What are you afraid of discovering about yourself? Don't fear being alone. Women who fear being alone are most likely to date Pigs. You don't want to be one of those!
3. Brain Retraining:
You don't need to go to the gym for this exercise program. The Dating Diet's Brain Retraining program focuses on brain fitness. If you've suffered from a weakness for Pigs, this fitness program will help boost 1) your concentration to keep you from caving to Pigs' ploys, 2) your cognitive thought process to help you detect the truth about prospective dates, and 3) your powers of strategy to enable you to make better, healthier dating choices that will improve your life instead of draining it. Suggested Brain Work-Outs:
• Sudoku
• Word Searches
• Optical Illusions
• Crossword Puzzles
• Jigsaw Puzzles
• Video Games
• Chess
• Learn a new language, instrument, sport, anything. Just learn something.
4. Mind-Strengthening Techniques:
Yoga, meditation, journal writing and trying something new (i.e., dance class, hobby, race, restaurant, anything, just get yourself out of your comfort zone).
Brain Food: Blueberries and strawberries are loaded with antioxidant chemicals that help improve cognition and maintain brain function so you can make the best possible dating decisions. Walnuts help nourish your brain with serotonin. No need for prescription meds for dating depression. Just eat plenty of walnuts. Serotonin affects our moods and our appetite. Walnuts relieve depression, insomnia, compulsive behavior and over-eating. Spinach is pure brain food and is loaded with essential nutrients and enzymes that your brain needs to strengthen synapses and produce neurotransmitters. Eat spinach every day of your Dating Diet. Spinach also helps reduce bloating, which keeps us looking good for future dates.
*Note: Highly recommend organic spinach.
Non-organic spinach is a high insecticide-laden vegetable. A little curry can help cure you of bad dating habits. India's curry contains the antioxidant cumin, which reduces deposits of brain plaque.
No wonder you've been making bad dating choices. Your brain was cluttered. Wild salmon (NOT farm-raised) actually improves your brain matter. It's one of the best sources of essential fatty acids, low in saturated fat and high in protein. It's good for your body all the way around but your brain needs the omega-3 fats. Lack of these omegas can lead to depression, poor memory and lower IQ. Water: Is your brain working below its capacity and potential? Studies reveal that most people are partially dehydrated.
Water is a Dating Diet MUST. Copious amounts of water are absolutely vital for mental alertness and concentration. Other great brain foods include:
• Nuts
• Wholegrain foods
• Avocados
• Tomatoes
• Green tea (real green tea)
• Sunflower Seeds
• Pumpkin Seeds
• Dark Chocolate (Organic with high Cacao percentage)
• And don't forget to always drink plenty of water!
My Favorite Brain Food Snacks & Meals:
• Mango Spinach Smoothie.
• Fresh Organic Salsa with Guiltless Chips.
• Spinach Salad with Curry Salmon & Walnuts.
5. Gain A Few/Lose A Few:
Women who continually date the wrong guy have an aversion to being alone. If you're uncomfortable being alone for more than ten minutes it's time you ask yourself, why? Perhaps you've lost yourself somewhere along the way, or perhaps you've been taking care of others for so long you forgot about you. Well, no wonder your relationships have been suffering! Regain your sense of self and lose the added weight of carrying a bad relationship around with you by getting to know yourself with a "Me Day."
Remember: You are the precursor to your successful relationship: You Are What You Date! With the Dating Diet you'll regain your sense of self, lose those unwanted love affairs, and maintain a healthy love life ... with yourself It's time to love and pamper yourself, and most importantly, learn to be alone.
Choose your friends carefully during your Dating Diet. You're only as good as the people whose company you keep. Friends who are in relationships do not speak "singl-ish," and they might encourage you to get out there and date again too soon. They want you in a couple so you can come to their parties as a couple. Single women who have habitually dated Pigs need a good single friend base too. However, if you're hanging with a cynical Susie who spends most of her energy whining about relationships gone wrong, your chances of finding Mr. Right will be gone as well. More than your dating life will benefit from letting this friend go. Surround yourself with positive energy. Like attracts like.
If you're exuding good energy, you'll attract a good guy and no more Pigs. It's time for new friends. It's easy and simply starts with "hello."
6. Don't Feed the Pigs
Do you still have, or are you still infatuated with a Pig, a man who is easy on the eyes but hard on the heart? Be honest. If you constantly complain to your friends, family and co-workers about what a Pig your so-called boyfriend or sex partner is, but you never leave and never let go, he isn't your worst enemy. You are. You're always thrilled when he beckons and you always scurry back as soon as he calls. You have become a walking paradox, controlling your happiness and destroying it at the . same time. Dating Pigs is almost a disease, a mental illness. It's a compulsion that forces you to date men who are not good for you. You know this, but you do it anyway and you always get hurt. Yet, breaking it off with a Pig takes effort. Chances are that you are the one who must force the breakup. You cannot allow the dysfunction to continue. Getting away from the Pigs you've been dating may be one of the toughest challenges you've ever faced. Why? Certainly not because of the Pigs themselves, they're actually harmless and will barely even notice when you're gone. Don't blame them; they're just cute little Pigs. Remember, it wasn't them choosing you for a relationship; it was you choosing them. It's your dating choices that keep landing you in bad relationships: You Are What You Date!
As a woman, you excel at manipulation. Getting him back would be easy. And from his perspective, that would be okay, because he knows he can dump you whenever he wants. Unlike you, he has nothing to lose ...and also, I must remind you, nothing to give. And here I emphasize: You Don't Want a Pig, not any more than it would be fun to lie down in the middle of a busy, high-speed interstate. Yet, after a break-up, loneliness sets in quickly. Here are your new laws:
• Do not call him or his friends.
• Do not go to the places he hangs out.
• Do not text him.
• Do not beg.
• Do not respond to or answer his calls or messages, if he makes them.
• Do not conspire a way to "accidentally" run into him.
• Do not break these laws.
Now that you've finally lost the last Pig you were dating, you must be extremely careful to watch what you date. Break-ups put you in an extremely high-risk category for dating Pigs. No more Pigs in your blankets! Moving on too quickly to the next man after a break-up will only leave you vulnerable to more Pigs and more disappointment. More than ever, your ability to differentiate between Pig or prince is compromised, for two reasons. First, on the rebound you'll do almost anything to feel better, and secondly, you have neither analyzed nor recovered from the damage recently inflicted. Don't be the woman who hasn't gone out with her friends since the first date of her last mate and shows up to flaunt herself in the singles social scene. You will stand out like a babe in the woods and the Pigs will stampede you! Stay in for a while and heal a bit. Catch up on your Me Time. Rediscover yourselfl Know this: Pigs love being your rebound guy, but they will never love you because they are simply not capable. To avoid ever dating another Pig you must purge yourself of the last one you dated, by completing the Dating Diet.
( Extract from "No More Dating Pigs, You Are What You Date" by NORAH MARLER)
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